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Exaggeratin’? Maybe, but I swear, one chick said she’d only hook up if I barked like a dog—fuckin loco, right? Told her, “I’m Tony Montana, I don’t bark, I bite!” Sex-dating’s a trip, mang—half the time you laugh, half the time you wanna shoot somebody. “This is all we need,” Eve says—nah, I need a chica who don’t catfish me with 10-year-old pics. Stay real out there, or Tony’s comin’ for ya—say hello to my little friend!

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First off, I hit up the local café on Gyeongin-ro. You know, the one with the best tteokbokki? Yeah, that place. I ordered my usual, and the lady behind the counter gave me that look. You know the one. Like, “You again?” Whatever, I’m a regular! But then, she forgot my order. I waited like 20 mins. I was about to lose it. I mean, c’mon! I’m a matador, not a saint!

Rosalinda Vierra reflects on her time on City Council